This thread relates to a heart mate partner; all relationships hold different demeanor's. Family for one is quite dynamical and multifactorial with many partners involved; this takes much complex and cooperative counsel...with structures.....and rules
With acceptance to a child in need, at times we end up alone even with family being a common denominator; this is your life. Why allow ones ill will to help self abuse and take advantage of you and your efforts to solidify your core of being? Support and being positive is what we can do but not abandoning self. At times we have to let go of certain relationships because if we involve ourself in them we may get pulled down; only so much support, then it's their will and self honesty.
Self Respect earns Respect;
I am writing this from my heart and empathy. It is so important to respect the worth of your spouse and their privacy. (If they have no self respect, do not get involved on that level) I have watched, observed and mediated many areas of distrust and turmoil with gossip upon a partners spouse. I have in my experience viewed such activity as logging a spouses activity and discussing it in public forums and other chat groups. I have often been approached to discuss actions of an others spouse. I have been a mediator in their turmoil out into the open and public. I have viewed the many validation techniques to play an image unto others to validate what one wants their relationship to be but is not in truth. That is why there is a need to create validations.
"Walk in with good intentions and the results may be blessed"
If for example; you speak to a friend(who may be short terms as they come and go) associate, public forum etc about your spouse without their consent and knowing of the issues and ask people to advice you about your spouse and release their personal business to predict outcomes.
Should they trust you? Are you deserving of their trust? Have you put faith and trust into yourself and spouse?
Ask yourself; If you cannot make your own Judgements about your relationship; are you really ready for one?
Have you really evolved to understand yourself?
I have viewed many chat forums and observed on going activity of spouse privacy being released all over the Internet and partners allowing strangers to judge their relationships without a testimony or respect to the spouse and their lack of knowing of the activity.
Both sides shall be present and able to give a full testimony on their issues as a union. Then a fair and logical Judgment can be made on both sides. Discernment concerning truthfulness is far more accurate in person; with both individuals present. Honesty and Confession and are the key measures to a resolution. Both came into the relationship with intentions and both made the choice.
In a union anything related to the union shall be done as a union.
Here is a few questions I gave a woman who held an 8 month post about her husband called: Cheating Husband Logger. She had complaints and here is how I handled her request of information to act upon;
"Joe" Are you settling? If no romance is there along with no trust; why are you in it still? Because you said you have not talked to your spouse; you are not clear about your accusations; that's why you are here. You now as described by your actions are creating anxiety, distrust, lack of confidence and faith in yourself and spouse. You are on the path to manifesting an ending.
"Joe" Do you think that after this past 8 months of flipping tarot cards and getting a strangers advice with no spouse approval has helped you?
Why dwell? Why dwell on anything instead of enduring the divine present and it's opportunities? Why set or evolve expectations? What happened to Integrity? Patience and Persevering in Love is very important. (Trust in the Flow) If we "demand" the answers or outcomes (controls) up front; what integrity do we have? That shows need, control, lack of faith and trust, lack of confidence in self and the spouse and selfishness. Those qualities manifest negative energy; pressure, anguish, distrust, apathy, tense; thus now actions; jumping to conclusions, blackmail, controlling, communication barriers and so on.
Others own their will and their will WILL on their own time and readiness. That is why we shall be enduring self love and inner peace first before we union with a partner. This will prevent possessiveness which can create many areas of turmoil I discussed already.
Now as I mention possessive and control; it reminds me of lust, obsession, and need. That is not love but do individuals who exalt these actions practice self love, balance and inner peace?
What you carry inside yourself often remains passive; so the energy you resonate may not be seen by the potential spouse but the weakness will attach to yours and it will manifest to turmoils. Heal and ground Self first so you can step into a relationship with a positive resonating energy and attract what you resonate; love inside as a solid being.
Exposure; telling all the truth and nothing but; not telling all in concern to information that does affect and influence a spouse is untruthfulness. Exposure of current self in truth and current life circumstances.
Exposure concerning romance, intimacy, emotions, feelings and so on shall be earned, respected, treasured and they should be experienced with mature levels of time and commitment first showing Faith, loyalty and Trust.
Going back to my post about Intention;
Did you plant Poison Ivy or Roses? What did you plan for your relationship to grow into?
Challenges do come with attending to a harvest.
Instant gratifications come and go as quick as they came in.
Intentions can be analytically broken down farther to reasons that attach to self and the situation that is surrounding the individual. Where were you at? Where you feeling lonely, lack of approval, low social identity, low esteem..etc.
Desperation's causes desperate measures. We know that ill willed can stoop low or be completely ignorant to their self and then unaware of their inadvertent lies and negative actions.
Weak position again transitions to the deceit, unfaithfulness, abuse, lies, usage, weakening each other and so on.
Spouses should understand caring disciplines as well concerning support and strength of a union together being influenced by each others will and ability to attain will power.
Here is an example of intention and spouse respect along with selflessness.
Jax wants to come over and cuddle. Jax, "I just met you last night." What have I done to be worth of your affection and intimacy? What worth and sense of self love do you have? Have I proven my trust and loyalty? Do you care that I do? Why or why don't you? My own self worth will affect the way I treat you and your worth will affect the way you treat me.
Here are some good questions before I conclude this thread.
DO I have faith and trust with focus and Patience to allow my path to unfold?
Am I clinging to the past and how can I come out of stagnation?
How can I heal from the past and learn from my past to expand my growth?
We all have values but were mine in a mature order before I went into the relationship?
We all have compassion but am I abusing it or have I been allowing mine to become abused?
Have I really grounded myself yet as a independent individual with balance, self love and inner peace?
The Bible is a great way to discern a divine union. This post breaks down areas in a relationship that are often abused and misunderstood in simple terms. The Ten commandments are a divine foundation for all our relationships.
Take care
Love
Holly
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