The Often Judged Eating Disorders

First of all if you are one who has had to live alone for quite some years; I get you.Thats when we do not want to hurt others and want to get ourselves secure first and understand oursleves along with creating a balance and inner harmony. So we often endure pain to the bone alone to heal and understand it. If you are one to live with another but not feel accepted; I get you as well. Nothing worse than being around one that makes you feel lower in frequency with selfish demands on their behalf  becuase they internally are really unhappy with themselves or need you for sense of control; but it blocks your personal space for self understanding and evolvment. Again do not take anothers objectivity concerning your actions as an attack. Often many go unaware. In social arrangemnts we must practice self honesty; if  we cannot be honest to self; can we argue another then questioning us?

Number One; we are complexed beings and an emotional issue only gets more complex as it goes unrecognized. The solutions are quite to the point but as we evolve in a behavior that erradicates out mental and physical health; the more complex the issue becomes due to attachemnts we create concerning trumoiled areas in life that also then get impacted by the root causes unaddressed.

Case Study;

First influence of an eating disorder was from the many woman that the male parent dated. I will say its woman and some men of all ages that endure eating discorders in all forms to; too big, to muscular, thin etc. I cannot say I have experienced anorexia but I have dipped into the truth about bulimia for a few consecutive months in my life.

Issue; once a day at night, to give  a high then a low to where a black could influence sleep when being alone in  mid teen years away from any family. The lack of elctro and potassium levals was too much for my body to endure long hours 7 days a week. This could not continue; needs to attain grounding alone with no support would be infringed upon if continued any longer than the few months  enduring the behavior. Clealry alone (physically) and feeling no love and support which created anguish, thus lack of sleep.

This closure led to a begining of a smoking addiction; "the abysmal issue was instilled and resonate self needed to ascend to actualize the pain and the need emotionally.

Faith and more group identification; college and faith groups. More time hanging out at MCC and community. Becoming conscious of  thinking patterns that evoked urges of behavior. Attuning self with affirmations to bring in the energy  not being recieved. Attuning self to open up to receiving by cleansing blockages and negative energies. "Tai Chi and healing meditations"

Again we all have reasons and causes on why we engage in these behaviors. The cause and triggers must be known and then understood. When we have a negative emotion; we clearly have a need that is not addressed. Thus we add a behavior but with an instant gratification and one we think we often can control becuase we feel no control on the emotions; we have not dealt with the emotion to order them.

The sad thing is; often as I have given counsel of these issues; people desire and like the control but they are being controled and its not the behavior directly, its the deep emotions behind it that triggers the behavior. It was an emotional response to influence a feeling thus an action to void the unwanted emotion and feeling attached to it.

It is also the sense of worth in many demeanors people experience that cause them to be conscious about eating and weight; body image to evoke these practices.

Wrestling, modeling, female false images, media etc.

There is absolutly no control becuase its an uncontrolled urge to repeat the behavior of control. Conscious can control influenced by the subconscious which is often passive to many; but the subconscious influences our conscious actions.

So one of the answers is to address what need was not met to cause the emotion.

Sense of acceptance (perfectionist, people pleasers) is another core issue. Compasrisons upon others and idealistic views of the Idol male and female image that is often not realistic.

Lack of acceptance can also occur by many rejections and abandonment issues. This can evolve from childhood and if the emotion is not understood and orderd it will continue to manifest the same negative results as the child gets older.

For example; I feel lonley. Well an eating disorder will only isolate you; so it creates more lonliness; thus more destructive behavior. You then depend on it and seek it as a solution to your lonliness.

The healthy way to assess lonliness is to ask yourself why you feel lonley and if you are percieving situations accuratly.

Remember: you may often percieve situations as you are left out or still feel alone becuase you are alone in your addiction, your addiction is not being supported in many environments of socializing. You may subconsciously be looking to connect with ones and be open about your addiction or behaviors.

Thus; we now know how its a circle; perception is off by the addiction or behavior, we feel alone in our addiction, we feel rejected or unattached, we then give this energy unto others, we then push others away, we then feel more lack of acceptance and rejection, we then feel deeper lonliness, we then run to the void and are alone in it and so on......................

If you are in fact alone; your not becuase many are in the same boat. Many live alone and are away from family or widowed. Many are enduring addictions of all kinds. So now we know we are not alone in the "boat". Others are enduring it.

If you are alive there is no possible way you do not have a place on this earth. Its not possible. If anything you can be one to inspire and support others who have experienced your pain. You can initiate support groups and engage in other support groups and meet like minded people with compassion.

Reaching out for help and Reaching out to others.

We also have to stay true to ourself; we at times cannot cookie cutter mold our image without cutting into healthy behavior with negative patterns of activity. Acceptance of yourself is the first step. If we continue to run from ourself (abandon) to chase what we think or what we percieve the ideal is to be based of uncontrolled emotions; we are going to beat ourselves around the bush in repeat negative cycles.

The best thing to do if it has resulted into a conscious image issue is to be rational and realistic.

I once did this: No TV or Mirror for one week! Really. I actually felt more inclined to socialize and get out becuase I was not dwelling on my appearance as it was in truth. No make up, no nothing in alteration becuase I am Holly Marie Colino. I am. I have to be me or I am rejecting myself!

Now its been years since I have worn any makeup. I used to be a mascara "wearer". No hair dye ever but I did make efforts concerning hair curly or really strait etc. Now I make efforts to heal and nurture my hair in its natural form. I take long bubble baths, lufah sponge, pomus stone, shave, soak, rinse, body gel, facial cleanser, conditioner, shampoo, filing, lotioning, shae butter, tweezing...yes lots of nurture.

Oh and yes of course I bring my bundles of kissies and huggies: my ooshie and orni babies. A puppy and tiger baby.

Honestly Just let it go, be free, be you, really it works!

Here is this one for example:

Ok, lets say you are insecure about your weight.

I actually was leaner looking with 130 pounds verse my current weight at 122! I lost alot of muscle mass from sitting in an office all day making sales. No resistance training. So do not go by a scale of any demeanor even a magazine image. I just turned muscle into fat by sitting in a ATT chair with no resistance training. lol

I modeld for Tampax at the Sharidan 4 points hotel (promo model).

In a fasion shoot:

Computer imaged (reduce thighs, hips increase bust etc.)

Airbrushing that can literally turn a tattoo into clear looking skin! WOW

Jelly boobies put into bras on thin girls with no breasts but do you know that the Victorias Secrete model has jellies in her bra and the bra has jelly in it? Do not forget.

False eyelashes, hair extensions, lip plumper, lighting.....

Typical poses all include: stick out butt, suck in tummy, stick out chest add a pair of heals..viola an image! Could you really stand and walk around like that all day?

Seriously even at Brockport Local Gym; I serviced a female fitness trainer ice and pillows at the Marriot becuase she had surgery in Rochester on her breasts and nose.

Key elelments in modeling: nose job , botox, and breast lifts and implants. Digital body construction. (thin waist, thigh etc)

So lets go back to the example. You are 140 and want to loose weight.

This is why its better to not be so meticulous with checking yourself all the time and being very controlling about your body weight influences.

you are 5 4 and want fit into a size 2.

If you set an ideal image and check within a day or two, maybe a week and see that your not there; what do you think this will cause?

Its when we set ourself up to fail (goal setting) we often give up and repeat old patterns. Set realistic and rational goals.

If you want to change; your intentions should be for good reasons.

Purposfull reasons. That is your motivation!

If you have experienced an eating disorder; then claiming your power over the disorder is a great motivation. Claiming your personal power!

Meditation, relaxing breathing excersises or art therapys should also be applied.

Do not put yourself in a spot where you are programing thoughts to see results right away. Instant gratifications are also instant uncontrolled behaviors.

you know what your reactions may be so do not set yourself up.

In this case "Flarity" is 5' 4 and wants to fit into a size 2.

Thats better than counting pounds becuse she can greatly reduce her waist size with just 5 pounds and increase muscle mass concerning her overall weight composition, transitioning fat to muscle so loosing more fat than she realizes becuase weight on the scale does not determine your body composition.

Flarity should focus a healthy regime and weigh herself after a month at the earliest. 

She should repeat the cycle of healthy mind, eating and excersise until she has consistantly created her regime as a healthy pattern consisitantly. (2 months) Then give herself a mental, physical and spiritual assessment.

As Flarity has not yet gotten the size 2 jeans to try; she realizes that she actually likes her body after the two months of working out. She is not even concerned with "numbers"

Does she fit in the size 2, well she doesnt care anymore so does it matter? But yeah she is smokin and all jeans sizes are different, so she just buys for what fits her body and disregards the numbers.


Much of it really is the reflection that comes from our perception of ourselves that is provoked by our thinking patterns and influences socialy and from our past.

Perfect is only a perception and an illusion of what is to be perfect in our heads based of our ideals and how we have attained them.Balance is key. If you put energy into only one thing aiming for perfection, other areas fall behind. We can aim for excellence in all we do but mistakes are part of learning and astute experience. Physical perfection should no where be compared to any image in the media either.

How we feel and our overall hapiness of our current situation will also reflect our perceptions.

Some Mood boosters: social identification, team, challenge, education, jouranling, art, excersise, sports, Tai Chi, meditation, Faith...................................................

Hope this brief overview helps:)

Love

holly