Abandonment: How can it cause Victimization?

Abandonment wounds can grow from adult years concerning relationships but the root stems from childhood. Lack of support, recognition, rejection, absense of commitment and fully abandoning parents are deep planted seeds of wounds that become surpressed and a ripple effect occurs during the phases of life.

The roots of these actions cause other wounds such as rejection, injustice and self worth issues that often infringe future relationships. Self worth issues can ignite personal issues concerning shame, especially later on as the child may become a people pleaser to gain others approval and commitment early on in their innocence of years.(urges then manifest to give ones self easily to gain acceptance along with influences of low self worth) Future young adult and adult relationships that manifest of these hidden emotional currents create tides of more turmoil and reinforce the old beliefs and thinking patterns; it almost validates the wounds and reinforces behavioral patterns of destruction that feed the pain of the inner child. It keeps the cycle perserved in ones life.

Consider some of the causes of when a child experiences rejection, abandonment and lack of support. Do you think that a child could have an issue from a perpetrator and be rejected when they need support? How about when a child waits by that window for hours and mom or dad never shows up? How about when the wounded father takes his fist to his child and their is rejection and self worth along with shame but no mother there? A father or mother who hold wounds of guilt that may coddle the child and help create lack of personal courage? Do you think that this also causes poor confidence and influences levels of persevering in their male or female groups of identity? Add on the lack of recognition as well.

Neglect is a large form of abandonment as well. When a parent ignores a childs cry for help becuase thay choose not to believe or do not want to face the truth; that abandons the support, love and security the child deserves and needs while they are trying to recover from a perpetrator or other form of inner wounds. Neglecting to listen and follow through with our children and their concerns can cause and enable the current damamge being done by ignoring it and not applying corrective actions. That is neglecting and abandoning. What else can be infringed upon a child due to this?

In any way do you think that self love and self worth were taught concerning neglect and abandoment?

How about betrayal!? A child looks up to their superiors; dont they? The authorities that lay out the rules. Wouldnt that explain why many pre teens rebel? Do you think a child that has been abandoned and neglected trusts authorites and holds a deep level of respect and faith in them? Why would they? So now we can conclude and understand where trust becomes a big issue and respects to "superiors".

I always laid it down to any female superior especially in school; no joke. I was one to give such a cold cunning demeanor to men and it came so natural as well. It became close to a primal instinct. I turned into "Maltese falcon".

I want to stay on topic but consider this along with Sexual, Verbal and Physical abuse.

Lets look at the issues with lack of parental support. Well there is the practical trial and sadly error, School guidance counselors that have not gotten their wounds healed yet and are pretty ignorant in their level of expertise and exalt little passion and astute practice.

Pathetic story; Counselor from East Rochester -Rochestercross-examine; A 5 year old little girl reluctantly relayed her the deep data, she clearly was unworth of her job becuase she then accused her of sexual harrasment!? The girl was persecuted by both parents, judged, slapped, rejected and the abuse continued until the day "he" was caught. It caused more feelings of shame and it along with the abuse degraded self worth and innocence along with the ability to express her woman hood later on. She felt so betrayed and alone. It caused boundary issues (the ill supported wounds and abuse) at young and she became subjected to a few more perpetrators but luckly not to the intercourse extent.

Mrs. Oleary clearly had her emotional baggage still imprinted and sadly she is a Counselor!? She took it out on a 5 year old! The parents still held wounds but abused relationships for a security and had kids; sadly!? You see how the viscious cycle remains alive and active?

So you see how much self ignorance can cause obstruction and erradication!?

Then there is the close friend that expells it all out like the town crier and so on.............................................So what happens? Then the friends parents that may want to help but could not follow through what they started. Do you think that the child feels more alone and looses faith in being cared about? Do you think that the child will eventually want to run away?


Here is another issue as a child then tries friends or associates:

Case study: Single girl lives alone, no parents, aunt, uncle grandparent, works at EJ Delmonte Corp and attends full time college. She works in a chatty office of mainly females. Courious to experience a woman to woman connection she never had becuase she had no mother, grandma, aunt nothing. Girl lives now in the city and is a young 19 year old against the grain concerning race and gender in her apartment building. She has been undergoing much rejection, hatred, abuse and degrade; finnaly she breaks down and reaches out to express her concern after a year of it. She goes to a friend from work. All she wanted to do was spend a night with a friend to console her pain and get away from the rejection. No; the 25 year old friend offers her a "substance" and spreads the news to her girl friend at her job over the phoone. The girl friend on schedule at EJ spreads the news and so on...Now do not forget that females especially ones that cannot relate to abandonment or large levels of abuse will overdue or obstruct the condition even more concerning their ignorance of the issues with possible untamed emotions. So the message went on and was improvised and the supervisor was contacted at her home way away from the 19 year old. "No self infliction was done in that circumstance or proof it be done before concerning suicide and no words of it; she was under a substance influence in "nirvana". 19 year old girls first actual instinct when she saw the three cops was; "wow she set me up or something". The supervisor made no effort to contact the girlfirend with the 19 year old to get truth in the circumstance or even console the 19 year old. She took it upon herself to construct an ignorant factless diagnosis and called the cops to file a suicide crisis. The 19 year old was again pursecuted and threatend; against her will she had to go to the hospital or be arrested. She went and was immediatly released and then lost her job at EJ Delmonte ironicly the day she came back to work! This has happened to her in this demeanor many times. She has also been attacked by woman older than her becuase she would not lie for their DWI. Thrown out again with acts of haste and rejection. Added persecution to have her made to feel shame and guilt along with senses of unworthyness.

Males and females undergoe this betrayal trying to find one to confide in. Even at churches this happens.
Then consider if the male or female is attractive; more ridicule in catty demeanors.

Then consider ones that do not use illegal drugs or commit crimes; a clean record. Those individuals become victims of attacks becuase the innocence in that demeanor they hold is a threat to their perpetrators hanus activity. The perpetrator starts to feel their inner wounds and guilt just by the presence of what challenges their integrity and holds enough intelligent and psychological growth to discern. It creates more attack, persecution, rejection and haste unto the individual. Also consider females more especially; set-up as a victim just by living alone, they become an easy target.

So you see; how one resorts to a void to console them when they want to release the wounds that started young; its as if you get pursecuted for releasing your pain. You just end up going it alone. Its not even if you act out and are aware you lied, falsified, stole, cheated etc.....its just the sense of wanting comfort while releasing wounded concerns and one to confide in.

In simple terms they just want a parent becuase they are a child and it was the parents choice to create and they deserve to be nutured with Justice.

I will discuss shame  in another post becuase shame can cause one to create it for themselves and they will then "not want to listen, hear or speak about it" similar to their infringed emotional pain they endured at the roots of childhood first causing shame.

The lack of parenting and the damages from refuge they seek create emotional pain which causes an emotional need; the intimacy. This issue in many cases and most is aroused by a shamfull event that keeps resonating................but no guidance in Justice; they will connect to intamacy alone in implanted and known demeanors of shame.

Shame becomes the form of intimacy and the way to connect the spark of it from the begining.

So this girl has had betrayal from; parents, siblings, school counsel, friends, parental figures of friends, employers, boys, men, criminals, authorites......................................ya see?


Run away from what? Unloved, rejection, hatred especially concerning what they then have to face in public schools, petty catty garbage! Running away from where it began and where they feel alone and unwanted.

Of course then we have the eager opposite sex! More confusion on top of no foundation of self worth, love, encouragment and support with consistancy and promise!

Resentment will build to superiors and utter lack of any faith; trying to put faith in them is like trying to open a cork in an aged wine bottle with your finger tips in Alaska. Pointless! I'll just go talk to the wall, thank you! I know the wall will be there................or the relationships, sex, food, drugs etc. Those will always be. They are promising. They can alway be relied upon along with the social identity that can be attained along with them will temper the feelings of rejection. Now a relationship begins. Ya see?

How about when a child is being abused and the parent does not support them and even may make them feel ashamed especially concerning sexual abuse? Do you think that that may cause sense of betrayal?

Sad thing is that even if there are two parents both may argue over the issues that a child has and ignore the needs of the child in their power struggles! This especially concerning when a child is abused by a sibling or another family member. (its very common between "step" family members) Any family caused abuse makes it worse becuase the fear of embarrasment that the family may endure; so at many times the child gets punished! Creating more low worth and shame along with rejection! Then consider when the parents try to discipline a kid from the turmoils they created! Really!? You want to discipline me after my behavior has been arrooused by yours! really!? Do not forget after the many years of abandonment and betrayal I have little audacity for you at that point and from your past actions and lack of actions it is percieved as a negative demeanor and abuse.

So far this discourse has been objective to actual facts but simplified. I have yet to begin the symantical and articulated facts and delineation of damage done. We "chafed" the ignition and stroked the fumes.

Holly M. Colino

Life when we exhibit stillness yet to endure into the unkown

As we change and humanity changes; changes on both sides occure. If may intergrating, learning, dating, full independence, travel, education, spirit and so on that will change the way you connect to humanity; thus you will change in areas of yourself.

Changes start by truth and acceptances and releasing old thinking patterns. Self revelations. Eliminating excess and old attitudes, experiencing transition and getting back to basics, endings bring us new beginings with a realization and new attitude to life assisting us in healing and creating more fruitfull endeavors. Leaving our long term known and finnaly enbracing what we have yet to discover and learn from. Step into the unkown with personal courage to embrace our highest self and maximum potentails. Its your choice and you know what needs change. Its the attitudes, emotions and beliefs we carry that can create changes. We hold the power of change and manifestation; its our will to create it and how fast we want to see it through faith and perseverance within all we wish to achieve.

What have you yet to endure? I dont care if you like it or not; how do you know until you try? Dont tell me you will not discover anything if you do it. Have you endured yourself alone? If you had to rule your roost and mandate your own base; what can you excel at and what do you not give a rats ass to do? Even if its a need like cooking and you only have you to do it; how do you approach it? Where do you find the the most beneficial and enjoyable social endeavors and why? What pursuits have you followed and why are you in stillness?



I am often pressed for advices concerning the future and this has been a lesson I have learned. How many have dwelled on either the past and have focused so much on the past to only endure doubs about our future while omitting the present "in the now" life we have? The truth is if we are not living in the now we are never trully living or thriving; we are just muddling away at life and rejecting out opportunities in front of us becuase we hold blockages. We may also be oppressing to others by our tense and anxious demeanors to have the answers. Often many are so eager to know the outcome before things have even begun that they create pressure which manifests turmoils. First I want to clear up confusions that arise from dissapointment and past blockages.

We know challenge and opportunity go hand in hand; what level and amount of challenges have you endured and been willing to create? What level of self faith have you held effecting your belief in triumphing in challenges and facing fears? We do not think, unexpectedly experience or inquest a challenge that we are not worthy of becuase it was our internal resonance that attracted it.

What cause your stagnance? Is it a fear of a change? Are you to worried about the outcome and are forgetting that we embrace ouselves in new light with new endeavors? Do you honestly feel you have intergrated in an array of endeavors and exalted a consistancy of independence in all activities residing with yourself? Dont you think you will learn about yourself if you dive into what you yet have to do? Hey even in endeavors that challenge our values, lets test how true we are to them! Lets see how deep they really go! Lets see out internal force resist and lets see inquest the test. What level of culture including skilled trades have you embraced? Have you ever tried to build rapport with soicla groups you may not agree with? Have you ever tried to establish understanding of how they evolved to where they are?


Now concerning our minds when hitting that ultimate low in the abyss of apathy.


Our trials and tribulations motivate us to reach deep into our resonate self and to seek deeper truth so me may understand oursleves better. Confusion and blockages within us obstruct us from manifesting changes, holding on to "dead wood" and refusal to see the truth blocks us from clarity and self ascension, thus it blocks us from changes.

Also as we al have held a job or pursuit; where is it in our hearts? Do you only have the action of fine cooking for family or do you hold that dear to your friends? Where in your life does all your skills apply? Who and what do you feel is worthy? Who will appreciate and even pay for your service? What service is in your heart with good intetnions to humanity where others will see the value of it and where?


We are reminded that in all situations we shall be open to seeing others points of view not just ours. We must be willing to embrace some level of humility and acceptanc of our actions involved. We shall also be thankfull for what we have and recognize that we shall not endure life as flat if we are not recieving our way in a situation that we may have impacted and influenced concerning the outcome. We must recognize that releasing involves maturation and wisdom we are deserving and needing to attain in order to create and endure a fruitfull relationship or endeavor. The universe is full of opportunties and in order to embrace we can not dwell on what we are dissapointed with and unconsciously ignore the opportunities that are in existance all around us. It is important to reflect and become aware of ourselves, we shall not put focus on the other individual becuase it was the world that transmitted that person to test you in that created circumstance for you to learn about yourself and mature. We need only to reach within ourselves with honesty and forgive ourselves then we may attain enlightenement with allowing those areas to mature so we can create the joy and love we desire. Each situation is a level of self realization that we can attain. Each situation is a lesson for attained wisdom. Each situation of we accept the truth and honesty of what we yet have to do for self worth will set the stage for our next ventures and self applications. Open yourself to surroundings and engage yourself in activities that captivate your heart to create meaning within yourself.


More on embracing stillness;

We can also enjoy the finer things in life. It is also a sign that you may need to reject the common conduits and chase to inquest the higher path. "Hard control and direct will with focus" Mastery of self. You may have to "sacrifice" for the moment and endure stillness but the results will be worth your level of time applied to your atrategies and ascension. Quality over quantity to achieve your maximum results. What areas of refinement can you attain? How true are you on your path of inner calling?We can expand ourselfs and elevate our creative focus and natural abilities. Assessing our path to our true calling and honing our targets to where we can express and exalt our ablities wiithin that focus can be achieved with stillness and solitude.




We can also look back on this situations to prepare us for our next frontlines. How can we remain calm with dignity in our lines of opposition and challenge? What way can we lead with example and respect others opinions and feelings in the situation? How can you use diplomacy to find common ground? How can you create a better way to handling resoltions?


"Every loss is a gain of self actualization and a relief that we are no longer standing on false security, so you gain liberation with new wisdom and lessons on self worth"


Remember to look back on your choices as a secrecy and enigma to gain pre-cognition and clarity about yourself; see it as a story. Look at all your actions and choices and examine patterns and ways that you have evolved from them. Examine patterns of values, beliefs and attitudes that recieved positive results and behaviors and actions that you always instill in all circumstances.

Also please consider; are there any substances you have relied upon? Clearly you do it and gain a sense of "euphoria", so you are not creating that feeling out of sheer will; dont forget that. Do you think that, that can isolate you and block you from finding causes that can be created  from your own human apparatus and mind along with spirited connection? What would you have to act upon if you did not have that substance? What does it take to recreate what your getting from that substance?


Truth is; we hold the answers to our contrivances and we work to create the answers to our hapiness. The universe provides an array of opportunities for growth, learning, evoltion, trial, expansion, ascension and harmony. The universe facilitates the counterparts beside our human apparatus that are needed to manifest the answers that lay within to attaining our true hearts desires. Your life and purposes are in which you choose to create; we all have free will.



What is the passion of your goals? What leap of faith have you always wanted to take? What are your intentions and what affects to humanity does it hold? What attitudes, emotions and beliefs need change and what do they need to adopt?What wil really give you the sensation of what you want? Are there any inner impulses or voices that have always been within you? What goals can you establish; even small steps to attain this venture?



We hold the power to create what we desire in the time and the level of self ascension we desire to inquest. Your will and attitude is the creater of what you desire. I can tell you of all I see but your perception of it is what matters and your choices within each circumstance combined with your actions and behaviors. The way you choose to handle your circumstances and intentions govern your outcomes. The univers is the force that allows us to grow and your aplications; the universe provides and will always transend people to you and you create the circumtances; situations arise for our facilitation and growth. We create our future.


If we inquest only the outcomes; we then create disregards to the elements needed to achieve the outcomes. We may be so focused on the desired outcome that we may never realize that the pursuit is not what we desire either becuase we know certain pusuits offer certain outcomes in specific demeanors but is that specific person job etc what we really want? The personal courage to discover and trust are ways we lead and write our path. Every day and hour we are presented with choice. How we handle situations, self assertions when with others or alone, personal choice without duties and orders, receptivity to others and the universe concerning information, people, and the overal receptivity to the universe in all its opportunities ir brings to us. Stillness and trusting along with putting our intentions to flow compassion and divine interest to all in our circumstances. To ask our guides for truth, divine opportunities and solutions.


"If we expect the universe to provide; we must put faith in it, as it provides to us and put s faith in us"



"Integrity; the ability to remain ethical and honest standing by our true self with truth in exposure; remaining patient, self confident and persevering with a positive attitude in all circumstances including the unknowns by putting faith into ourself and will power with forthright personal courage"





Do not forget that everything has a relationship, there is always a counterpart to an element. You have an action but its the intention behind it that rules the results. Actions will always attain results and the way we nurture them. The intention is very influential. Think about a seed you plant, think about your intention to plant a rose bush or bank account; remember the way you nurture "persevere" within that planting and attention to the harvesting. Think about the results you have attained with examinations about your intentions; see if you notice a difference concerning the integrity you carried out and the results attained. Have faith but have good intentions. I am very assured all of you have attained positive results from a seed you have planted.


You are the commander of your dreams and you are the one who delegates with the universe to create that dream.


Love
Holly